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| Social
Observations |
Notes about
Social Situations and Being Cantonese |
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Introduction:
Chinese people in general, and Cantonese most
definitely - are very warm, welcoming, and curious people
There are times however, when their social customs are
very different from Western ones, especially traditional
British ways, and how we interact with comparative strangers.
If you have lived in China for some time then the contents
of this page will be well known to you - but for newcomers,
it may just explain things you would consider as odd,
or even rude. Later I will mention how you can appear
to be doing the same to them without even realising
This page deals with short topics, whilst longer subjects
have their own dedicated pages. Here we currently look
at only: Greetings, Friendships, and Time concepts
Greetings
Warm Welcome
You will find that virtually all people you meet socially,
or are in contact with for business or other reasons,
are very warm and welcoming - usually being quite expansive
and very hospitable
People you hardly know will offer to take you for dinner,
or to see their parental home (Often far away), or spend
a day looking out for you when you want to go shopping
etc. They do go a long way out of their way to be genuinely
helpful
Street Greetings
Very often when walking in the streets or in a lift,
complete strangers will say hello to you in English.
Sometimes this is the only word they know, whilst others
may be able to hold a brief and very basic conversation.
Quite a high proportion will have a high degree of English
literacy. Simply reply in kind and enjoy the experience
Most Chinese will know a little English, and like to
practice their linguistic skills at every opportunity.
It is normal to walk down the street and be greeted
- normally the conversation is brief and goes like this:
'Hello', 'Hello, how are you', 'I am fine', 'See you
next time'. This is often said by a 4-year old, and
please do reply in good nature - it is not a crime to
have a brief, public chat in English with a child in
modern China - usually you will note a parent or teacher
nearby urging them on!
Chinese love photography, and having their pictures
taken with a Foreigner is unusually important to them.
It is very common for you to be approached and asked
if they can take your picture, and be pictured with
you. Please note: This is not a con-trick as sometimes
perpetrated in the West. This is a genuine request from
ordinary people who love pictures
Friendships
Public vs Private Face
Westerns in their own country are often friendly but
reserved or a little distant when meeting new people.
Later friendships develop as you get to know each other
better, and as trust etc builds - so you open more and
more of your lives to each other, including quite personal
details
Chinese people are not the same. They are far warmer
and welcoming than Westerners would expect. However,
even after many years of very good friendship, they
may not tell you (Or anyone else) any personal details
or worries they have. You should consider they are very
worried about the persona they project in public, but
conversely, keep everything private too themselves.
This can extend to relationships between Husband and
Wife or children, and is very deep-rooted culturally
Be circumspect in this regard, even with quite close
Chinese friends. They may be embarrassed if you talk
about your personal life! Others may be interested and
see your attitude as honest and open - like a breath
of fresh air. In turn they may also open to you more
than to others. It is an interesting conundrum
True Friendships
These are difficult to define, easily misread by Westerners,
and divided distinctly into what we would call Acquaintances
and Best Friends - with very little in between (Normal
friends)
If a Chinese person calls you their Brother (or Sister),
especially publicly in front of other Chinese - then
this is a Best Friend. Brother and Sister are often
and confusingly used to indicate a very special friend
they do consider as part of their immediate family
Acquaintances are people you consider as friends, but
remember that if you ask them for a favour, then they
will expect you to return it at some future point, probably.
Be circumspect when dealing with Bosses and Government
employees, otherwise enjoy the moment
Ordinary people should be taken at face value and treated
as you would friends at home. Do take them up on their
offer to visit their parental home - it can lead to
so much more and true friendships developing.
However, due to the 'Public vs Private Face' I mentioned
above, ordinary friendships are a degree or two cooler
than Westerners normally mean. Consider them as you
would the guy down the local pub or a colleague at work
- someone you really get on with well in certain situations,
but without knowing very much about their personal lives
Time
Immediacy
Chinese have a different perception of 'Time' from Westerners.
Things either happen 'Now', or at some indeterminate
point in the 'Future' (or 'Past')
It is quite common, so lets take unexpected lunch as
an example. You are working in your office, and at midday
you get a call from a friend asking you if you would
like to join them for lunch. You say 'Yes' + when/where
shall we meet. I have had the reply 'I am in the car
park waiting for you'. No call 10 minutes earlier so
you can prepare (Future time) = this is happening 'Now'!
Lunch is great, and you hang around drinking, chatting,
etc. Then for no apparent reason, everyone gets up and
leaves the table = meal over. Again this is instant,
and people new to China will be playing catch-up at
this point. I can now read this, but it takes a while
to understand
Later you will notice this attitude is prevalent throughout
your daily interactions: A telephone call finishes when
what you wanted to say has been said (Notice a small
preceding 'mmm' sound before the goodbye).
Perhaps the best way to convey this is simply to state
Chinese do not waste time on what we would consider
as pleasantries. Conversely, you may give offence to
them if you are late, tardy, or staying on the line
to chat (When they are busy ie at work) |
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| This
information is as supplied by the Chinese Embassy in
UK, as dated 20th June 2008, and/or other reliable sources.
This particular page also contains my personal, unbiased,
and apolitical observations. Please check this information
yourself as it may alter without notice, and whilst
we try our best to ensure it is correct, please do not
hold us responsible for any errors - this is intended
as a simple guide only |
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