Summer
in the City
In the
course of this missive we return to our daily lives in the South-eastern Chinese
city of
I have at
last made time to upload pictures of this new gaff to the Gallery section of my
website, which you can find here:
http://www.china-expats.com/Gallery/main.php?g2_itemId=5968
You can
also find a video walkthrough here:
http://www.china-expats.com/Missives_ToisanGaffVid.htm
This should
work in any browser.
I*ve also
added some family photographs and pictures taken on the local streets, although
there are many more still to be taken as I wait for lighting conditions to be
good, and to be in the right place at the right time.
My new
mobile phone is now 3-months old, and is a Sony Ericsson Vizaz. It takes great
pictures and videos as you will see, due in part to the 8.1 megapixal
technology and quality lens. It also has a sound recorder, which will allow me
to wax lyrical whenever the mood takes me.
The default screen allows me to instantly connect to Youtube
(unavailable in
Interestingly,
whenever I receive an incoming call, the phone displays the video camera, which
is quite disconcerting. I mean, it is a live feed from the video camera, and something
I intensely dislike. Change it. You bet. I have changed this particular setting
many times, and it still reverts to showing me either the live video of my feet
usually, or some quasi-water related graphic. It cannot work out which way the
phone is by the way, so oft times I have to miss the first attempt (Horizontal
view) and wait for the next manually instigated view (Vertical). It is an
exceedingly stupid mobile.
I could
accept all this rubbish if it were not for the fact that unless a person is in
one of the call registers, then it is virtually impossible to find there
contact details. If you do, then calling them requires pressing a dozen
buttons, and not one. Hello?
I have
totally given up with text messages, as whilst it is very easy to receive
these, replying takes me into many menus, and eventually to the contact list 每
which in turn want*s to do anything but send a text message. I could vaguely
live with this if the phone came with an input stylus. Well it does, but this
is back home in the box, as the last thing I need is to be carrying around more
dross with me. There is no internal stylus, even though one could have been
fitted horizontally. Therefore I simply don*t bother to even try to reply to
text messages anymore 每 it is too bewildering to bother with.
But I have
a problem with all this. Had I bought a camera with telephone or internet
capability I could accept it. As happens, I thought I bought a mobile telephone
with a camera. This in turn means that the telephone and associated txt
messages are the main functions I require 每 not tweeting or watching Youtube,
which even if they were available in
Here lies
the crux of the problem. I thought I bought a mobile telephone with a very good
camera. Instead I have some copy of an i-phone that cannot work in
Then I find
the button for taking photographs needs the weight of three elephants to press
down = the image moves and pictures are blurred. It is seriously difficult to
press this button!
Nokia have
since released a very comparable phone, and I will be buying one shortly. It
features a cover over the camera lens, that when moved, immediately activates
the camera. My ideal! No more stupid menu*s to try and resolve. Neither will I
ever again purchase a phone that has a touch screen 每 leave me will the hard
buttons that work every time, all the time. Whilst I could be inclined to give
the Vizas 10 out of 10 for functionality if I lived in the west, I will give it
minus 10 out of plus 10 for usability in China = totally hopeless!
What
constitutes hopelessness is subjective I guess, and therefore my recent
computer dramas also fall into this category. You may recall Mok San and the
local computer guy got both my desktop and laptop computers working perfectly
less than 1-year ago. It began again 1-month ago when my desktop suddenly lost
all power. Having kept a very strict regime of backups, this was not a problem
regards losing any data 每 I back-up several times per day, both to a different
hard drive, and also online. As I was about done anyway, I decided to leave it
overnight and look at it the next day.
Morning
arrives and booting the computer with the cover off I note the CPU fan is
spinning and there is a short spell where wind comes out of the main power
pack. This soon subsides and is followed by a loud &pop*! My instinct is to
suspect that several things have gone wrong that may be interrelated. I take it
down to the repair shop just a few doors away with Siu Ying at my side. The guy
shakes his head and tries a new power pack. Nothing happens so he removes the
RAM and cleans the chips. Unusual I think to myself. He then states that in
addition to the power pack, this (Indicating somewhere in the circuit board)
needs replacing, and that will cost Y400 每 as long as nothing else is wrong. He
tells me it is very old and I should get a new Computer. I ask him how much,
and then ask him again. He doesn*t answer me and goes off to work on something
else. I*m not impressed, as I know a new power pack costs around Y80. Siu Ying
doesn*t like him either, so I bring the thing back home to contemplate its
future at some later date.
I am
actually expanding my recipe section at this time, adding in what will become
new sections for Chinese recipes, descriptions and uses of some of the weird
fruit and vegetables sold in wet markets, and as a further thought to aid
first-time travellers to
As
computers* dying is a fairly regular occurrence in China, I decide to make a
definitive backup of new install software which is saved to memory stick, and
also burned onto a full back-up DVD. That sorted I begin work again by making a
plan of all the things I need to do, and a rough order of approach. The days
blur into several weeks, and I progress well. Siu Ying has got used to me
inspecting the contents of her shopping bags and taking photographs of any
unusual purchases. I then zoom in again whenever she is eating a new fruit, or
cooking some new dish. She thinks I am crazy, but plays along and now calls me
to bring the camera whenever she thinks I may miss something. Often this
entails not only photographing the recipe ingredients, but also making notes
about cooking so I can later add these to my Chinese recipe pages.
She has
also been asking around, and one of her local friend stated repairs to the old
PC should be nearer Y150, and not to use the guy in the local shop as he was no
good and charged too much. Nice to know we called that one correctly. She
informs me another friend can fix it for me, so I ask her to make enquiries. It
turns out he used to be an English teacher, but now takes classes in computers
at a local school. This is not the description of a computer repair guy I had
in mind, so we decide to think on it for a few days. The laptop is actually
fine, except it has one of those stupid modern connectors that you can*t
connect anything to. I work with graphics a lot and really do need an old
fashioned CRT monitor. I can*t work with something where the colours change
every time I move my head, as is with all LCD screens. I also prefer to move my
keyboard around, and definitely dislike the one on the laptop, which is some
sort of reduced size thingamajig with keys in different places. Normally you
can plug both of these into a laptop, but mine only has a couple of USB ports
and the stupid connector. I*m gonna have to resolve this soon.
It appears
fate stepped in to decide for me, as a couple of days later I was working away
when suddenly the laptop had a minor virus 每 some version of a Trojan that
could be nasty in the future, but as spotted and constrained wasn*t actually
doing any damage. My primary anti-virus program had quite a battle with it all
the same, and this went on for several minutes, as pop-up screens asked me what
action to take = delete or quarantine. After 40 such clicks I automatically
clicked the pop-up again, whilst trying to determine the threat level and what
to actually do about it. As this screen disappeared, I became aware the words were
different, and it had asked me if I wanted to delete the file: windows
login.exe. I had pressed yes
automatically, and then the system then went into automatic reboot. &Uh-Oh!*
Windows
doesn*t work without this file and the data it addresses, so the reboot hung as
I expected, and I was given a lovely bright-blue screen containing a dos error
message to look at. I shut it down as I needed to seriously think about this
before doing anything else.
Damn me if
Siu Ying didn*t pop her head round the door that moment and suggest we all go
out to the Western restaurant we recently discovered, and I like a lot. Mama
rejoined us yesterday, and this sounds like a mighty fine idea. A few cold beers
and some decent nosh will soon put a different complexion on things 每 and do
you know what? It worked a treat!
The first
time we tried this restaurant, which is literally two minutes up our back
alley, I had a quite delicious Vietnamese style curry. It didn*t have
lemongrass or enough chilli in it, but apart from that it was 每 totally what I
enjoy. Seeing as how I have actually featured this eatery in my Toisan city
guide, I decided to try a pizza this time, with fries and a couple of large
bottles of ice-cold beer. It was a perfect copy of a half-deep, deep pan pizza,
but again lacking in chilli. Otherwise it was overflowing with quality
Mozzarella and everything else you would expect of a good pizza. I added extra
chilli, and Wow! Got my vote immediately. The girls settled on some soup
thingymagig, followed by meats cooked with rice in large leaves. I have seen
this several times, but this version was quality. The staff here are very
friendly, and on our first visit they kidnapped Nonni for about 15 minutes.
This time the Supervisor/Owner was not around, so other staff simply
&coochie-cooed* and joked with me in Cantonese. They also have a large screen
plasma TV set into the main wall, which I plan on watching for the next Gran
Prix in
However,
our time is now just after the interesting Gran Prix from Spa Francorchamps,
and what a race that turned out to be. After one of the wettest periods I have
ever known in my whole time in
This is
some very serious heat. At night we keep the lights turned off as much as
possible, because they make the room to hot. I have taken to only using the
computer for short spells, as its fan superheats the room. Our fans are now
blowing out hot air, to the extent that both Mama and Siu Ying have beads of
sweat forming on their lips even when sitting down doing nothing. My skin has
changed and adapted over the years I have spent in
We chose
not to install air-conditioning this year, as we want to have a holiday in
Aside I
wonder if it was because of this intense heat that the power supply to the old
computer gave up the ghost? The next day I ask Siu Ying to speak to her friend
about fixing the old desktop computer; and inform her that the laptop isn*t
particularly healthy. The word &virus* lets her understand, and she places her
hand upon my arm.
So far
there are only two computer guys I trust in the whole of
※Well
tickle my tits till Tuesday§! It damn well works! Not quite 100%, but I was
never aiming for that. However it is up and running again, and I can access all
my files and use them with all my applications again. I then try copying the
deleted file across and back into System 32, and booting through the previous
drive now works until I get to a login screen. This is a conflict, and it would
now probably work if I deleted the second operating system that I just
installed. But I*m not going to do that just yet. First I want to use the
information contained within this laptop to propagate my desktop, once it is
repaired. However, getting the new configuration to connect with the internet
takes me 2-days of occasional trying. This is because Chinese ADSL requires 2
internet connections, and I only know how to make the main one. XP SP3 and
This got me
to thinking that I cannot possibly be the only person in the world who appears
to have a constant battle with languages used by computers. I mean, computers
actually speak only binary. I need to use both English and Chinese all of the
time. This is why last year I only used a Chinese computer for 6-months.
Windows is fine until you get away from
What I
require is the ability to completely swap the language version of the operating
system I am using 每 it is all related to Binary processing numbers in any
event. At present Microsoft install the specific language component in what is
called the Kernel 每 you will probably have heard about this. It is actually a
3-tier stack or interrelated system if you prefer. What I want, and what both
I battle
the constant heat, and battle the new laptop operating system. It was a
quick-fix, and sort of works, but is definitely a work-around. Therefore I am
very pleased when Siu Ying bounces in and proclaims her friend is arriving
soon. I ask when, but she disappears orf to sweep, tidy, and make the apartment
immaculate. Serious stuff then I guess? Our love reappears of course, so I join
her doing &cleaning*. Then the door hammers and her friend arrives 每 except I
think she doesn*t actually know him very well 每 Hey-ho! He undoubtedly used to speak
very good English, but he is a little shy, and it has been a long time. What he
does say is excellent, and once he settles it gets a lot better.
Apparently
he is a computer lecturer of high knowledge, and he has started an enterprise
with one of his foremost students. They have a computer repair shop, and it his
young friend that is the computer repair guy. I use basic international sign
language to show the young guy what us wrong, peeling away the side panel of
the old desktop and so we progress. He says it needs to go back to the shop for
repair, and they disappear forthwith.
In for a
penny? Well I am in for a pound actually, and I like them. I presume they will
be back next day, or Monday, so open a beer and start writing a missive 每 not
this one incidentally, but one of about a dozen that I have ongoing on the
back-boiler. I*m into this when I hear voices and a lot of banging nearby.
Thinking to put on a Tee-shirt first I head off to investigate, only to
discover the guys are back already. The computer is fixed and checking that it
boots, they depart immediately. Amazed I rush after them asking how much???
Reluctantly the senior says the cost was Y130, but that my computer is slow and
there is a slight problem somewhere. OK. That*s fine 每 so I hand over the dosh
and he leaves bowing down the stairs as they depart. Too late perhaps I tune
into &mian zi* or Chinese &Face*, and then Siu Ying calls to say the guys will
be arriving soon. I tell her this just happened, and confused she understands.
Well what
is a boy to do under such circumstances? I reboot to be sure, and this computer
is rather slow. Then again it is running a lot of software that needs to
activate. I am made-up, and then a totally new desktop reveals its glory to me.
I gaze at this with astonishment, before deducing that the &small problem*
referred to earlier was in fact due to the boot sector or similar being fried.
This in turn means they have also reinstalled an operating system, and I wonder
which one, and in what language it is?
It takes me
around 20 minutes to get the basic computer functionality as I like it 每 show
all hidden files, give me a shortcut to Windows Explorer on my quick launch bar
每 simple and stupid stuff. By this time I also work out I have an English
language operating system, I have some version of XP SP2, but with SP3 add-ons,
and that apart from C drive, all my files are still intact. I close the
computer down so I can add my back-up drive, and stripping off the side panels,
soon discover this power pack only has one old-fashioned hard drive power
input. It has three of the new style. I will either need to butcher the old
cables and fit them to the new configuration, or find some adapters. That*s
just given me a days* work then!
With C
drive being reset to new default parameters, I spend the next hour deleting
shit I don*t need and have no interest in. I reboot just to be sure. I then
spend the rest of the day copying across large files with my 4Gb memory stick,
and using the install software package I assembled earlier to get the computer
back into trim and my personal spec. Because the default language is English,
this is a lot easier, but it is still quite time consuming.
The
brightest spot is when I finally manage to outwit the extremely stupid HP
printer install. All I need are the drivers, which should be a couple of
Megabytes. Hewlett Packard always offer only 2 options, a full install of
around 300Mb, which includes web-sharing graphics applications I would not ever
use. The alternative or light install, runs at a mere 36 Megabytes, and
contains all the gismos and GUI*s that make this a package. I know from
experience they don*t work properly. If you have ever installed their software,
then you will know that they always say you must disconnect the printer before
beginning installation. This time I had windows Device Manager open and it was
looking for printer drivers. I put in the HP CD and Windows System did the
install. This took all of 2-seconds, and functioned perfectly. Obviously all
the HP shite didn*t work, but then it never did anyways, so now I have that one
cracked.
You know, I
am back in bliss 每 I have a CRT screen working that has consistent colours
regardless of where my head is posited in relationship to it, a mouse that does
a lot of tricks, and a keyboard I can move around and out of the way as it
suits me. Using my new reinstall pack I get the pc to my specific configuration
with a couple of hours, but unfortunately, it will not read the backup DVD I
just made using the laptop.
Elated to
have something tangible back in my life I head off to get a cold beer in
celebration, and kill 5 Cockroaches along the way. You may remember that I have
&Zero Tolerance* of these critters. We are now into month 4 in this gaff, and I
average killing 3 every single day, but they usually invade in clusters when
there is inclement weather due. I am not counting any nymphs, which only appear
when there are no bigger versions 每 otherwise they will be eaten by their
larger counterparts. Don*t get me wrong, they are quite entitled to a full and
happy life doing whatever it is they do; just so long as they do not presume to
do this inside my home. That said, I do admire there ability to survive, and
they are one of very few creatures that will probably outlive our time on this
planet. They survived
Meanwhile I
also became aware that our refrigerator must be home to several mice, or
something that likes to eat British style bread 每 which I can only buy from one
supermarket with consistency and without sugar. My clue came when I was
expecting to open the fridge door and find 6 slices of bread. Instead there was
a vacant space. Last night I distinctly remember opening a new pack of bread,
and toasting four slices to go with my baked beans on toast. There are 10
slices in a pack, so there should be 6 left in the fridge. I look for an empty
pack, but this is not to be found. I survey our tables, and note a knife with
the remains of a little
My
suspicions are aroused, but I want to eat bread and corned beef as sandwiches,
so I open a new pack. I note that there are definitely 5 slices left, and
retire to bed. The next day the remaining bread has gone! The knife with
Next
morning I inform my wife that we have a serious problem, in that our
refrigerator has been invaded by mice, or &Lo Sheu* as we call them. She says I
am stupid. I reaffirm that for 2 nights running English style bread has been
disappearing from the fridge, and show her the knife with remains of chilli
sauce on it. She breaks down laughing, whilst I try to maintain a straight
face. With Doe eyes, she admits that she may have taken the odd slice .. or
two. I pretend to be Godzilla, or was it King Kong, which reduces her to tears
of laughter, and we now know that Cantonese girls actually love to eat English
style savoury bread with chilli sauce; albeit late at night when they think
nobody else is watching. To tell you the truth, this is one of the biggest
cultural breakthroughs I have ever been a party to, and whatever else happens,
I have to encourage her to eat more &proper* bread in future.
Bang!
Rhiannon
just ran into my leg with her &Nonni Chair*. It is insignificantly painful for
a moment, and as I formulate words of an expletive nature, so she says ※aurjah,
da da da da da, eiyeio§! She is looking up at me as if she just discovered the
Holy Grail, and perchance she just has. Whilst she has mumbled a very few
recognisable word previously, these were never repeated any day later. This
time she is saying them deliberately, and expects adults to understand her.
Mama has missed this one, and so has Siu Ying. I cotton-on immediately to what
is happening and reply in this new version of Baby Speaking. She is made-up,
and goes to greater lengths on a similar theme. The &da* bits are formative
words, whilst the other two are representations of everyday and mild
expletives. I know this. So does she, as so simply communications between us
begin.
This is
repeated the next morning, and whenever we are together. Over the next couple
of days this develops and it becomes apparent Mama does not speak this
language, and Siu Ying is sort of missing it. Therefore it appears to be up to
me to encourage her first attempts at speaking language.
But this is
also accompanied by a greater awareness of the world around her, as she now
controls her 8-wheeled chair far better than a few days ago. She also has
learnt to crawl, and learnt not to go over the side of our floor based
mattress. We also have a sleeping accommodation where she always looks for her
Mothers dwindling milk supply from time to time, but I think it is more likely
fluid intake she is after; something I must tell the girls to be aware of. If
nothing else, it is so damned hot of late that even I have been drinking a
gallon of water each day, so what does this mite need? A lot of fluid intake I
think.
But then we
have this thing going on in bed, that when she has finished with her mother,
she rolls over to me and starts working on my back, sides, or front 每 depending
upon my orientation at that time. Sometimes it is hands inspecting my face or
body, but most times it is her feet that conduct the investigations concerning
this very strange creature she will later come to know as being her Father.
Poor thing!
With all
this mayhem and daily innovation going on surrounding our daily lives, I click
into Toisan TV on Tuesday evening, and catch 24, Day 8. I do like 24 a lot!
I file this
information away mentally until I have got the basic DIY pages online, and
again ripped my menu system to shreds in order to re-invent it. I am not sure I
can be done with waiting a week between each episode, and my personal record
was 25 hours to watch all of Day 4. With this in mind I make some personal
time, and find this Day on Loombo.com. It begins in fits and starts, as I have
a wife, daughter, and mother in law all demanding instant pieces of my time.
China Telecom has also been blobbing recently, so the early hours suit me just
fine. Then my luck changes and the girls all disappear off for a few days. I
get all the way up to hour 20 in one evening, and then the American version of
12 am vs 12 pm kicks in, and I can get no further. I find it again on a
different host, and complete. Wow! Many sub-plots and things to consider with
this one - but basically it is all about: truth, honesty, and loyalty; which
all components of trust across national and international divides. These I
practice on a daily basis within my own small life, and I wish you the courage
and tenacity to make the same for yourselves.
Goodbye
Jack, we will miss you.
And so it
appears the time is now set that I also Jack this one in.
Thank you
for reading and please know your comments and opinions are always welcome
Jonno